Joel: Okay, you guys - Vamp! Yeah, I'm trapped up in outer space. Sometimes my life feels like a big pile of nothing. So what? Word! I live with it, dig it? But now me and my bloods would like to wail out a song about our friends the Sidehackers and it goes like this.

(singing) Sidehackin' is the thing to do
and it doesn't hurt to have a low I.Q.
Take your (unintelligible) and a little luck
Big-bang prize is twenty-five bucks.
Sidehack'll quench your danger thirst
the stupid ones always seem to come in first - yeah!

Sidehackin' is one big bash
The favorite sport of cheap white trash
When you're on your Sidehack make sure you don't slip
You'll end up with five metal pins in your hip
Lean way back till you'll scrape your butt
Make it look like a quarter pound of ground chuck - yeah!

(spoken, to Crow) Oh, sidehackin' Crow!

(Crow's guitar solo)

Tom: (spoken) Go, Crow!

Joel: (singing) It's the sport that attracts a lot of racing fools
A lot of people get hurt 'cause there are no rules
All you need is a toxic land fill
A cycle and a sidecar and an urge to kill
Better get with the sport 'cause it won't last long
The founders of the sport are laid at Forest Lawn.