Crow: I'm confused. Just who IS this Godzilla guy?

Tom: Yes, wise one, please, teach us!

Joel: I'm not sure if you're ready for this...

Both: Oh please! Mr. Joel...Please! Please! Please!

Joel: Okay, my little robot friends, but we only pass this way once. This is called "The Godzilla Genealogy Bop" Will you hit it, Professor Cambot??

(music starts)

Joel: In order to know Godzilla, we've gotta look into his past.

Crow: You know studying genealogy is gonna be a blast!

Joel: Ahh, you've got it, little robot pal, we're swinging into high.

Tom: C'mon - let's cut to the chase, ya couple of geeks, and get to the family tree!

Joel: Well, it started with a nuclear blast and pets that were released.

Both: Oh, like baby alligators and other nasty beasts?

Joel: Right! The fusion reaction caused them to grow a thousand times their size.

Crow: Well, that explains Godzilla's attractive tail and thunderous thighs!

Joel: Right! Now you're getting it little buddy, but now we must move on. Godzilla's not the only one to benefit from the A-Bomb.

Tom: Yeah, look! There's Auntie Ness of Scotland's loch! They were married in the spring. And their first born was Godzookie, and now we begin to sing...

(Tom starts singing scat improvisations in background)

Crow: Godzookie went to Hollywood, an agent to the stars. He had an affair with Lorna Luft and smoked those big cigars!

Tom: And out of the lusty Luft affair Ron Pearlman resulted. Hmm.

Joel: You know surgery was considered for him but-nobody was consulted. Oh, I did it again.

(all laugh and Tom continues with his scat improvs in background)

Crow: Then Ron met Yoko Ono and they began to spawn. A couple of hundred horrible things as green as Forest Lawn.

Tom: There they are: There's Kermit the Frog, the Swamp Thing, Hulk and Ernest Borgnine, too!

Crow: But Ernest Borgnine isn't green!!

Tom: Oh, you put him on a boat, he is!

Joel and Crow: Whaaaatttt?!

Tom: Hey! Who's that down at the bottom, a'wallowing in his shame?

Crow: Oh that's just Steve Guttenberg of Police Acedemy fame!

Tom: Huh!

Joel: To wrap it up, the worst mutation--

Crow: No! You don't suppose?

Tom: Oh yes it is! The horror of horrors--!

All: KARL MALDEN'S NOSE!!!!

Joel: (spoken) Commercial sign on top (reaches for commercial sign button)

Crow: Dig it!!!