Mike: "In the not too distant future
Way down in Deep 13
The evil Dr. Forrester
Was hatching a nasty scheme
He hired a temp by the name of Mike,
Just a regular joe he didn't like.
His experiment needed a good test case,
So he conked him on the noggin
And he shot him into space. (Get me down!)

I'll send him cheesy movies,
The worst I can find (la-la-la).
He'll have to sit and watch them all,
And I'll monitor his mind (la-la-la).
Now keep in mind Mike can't control
Where the movies begin or end (la-la-la)
He'll try to keep his sanity
With the help of his robot friends.

Robot Roll Call:

Cambot! (Show yourself!)
Gypsy! (I'm not ready!)
Tom Servo! (h'lo there!)
Croooow! (That's one "o"!)

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
and other science facts (la-la-la),
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
I should really just relax..."

Dr. F: (spoken) "Did I tell you my mother's here?"

Mike: "For Mystery Science Theater 3000!"