"Darling," he’d say to his beloved potted plant Ella, "the wall in my back yard is safe from the weather. Come rain or snow, drought or wind, my wall is the safest wall in the world."

"That’s nice dear," she would reply.

Mr Messy hated his wall. He left it be. It was crumbly and brittle. Maintenance was non existent for this wall.

"Let it be," he’d say to his pet Giraffe, Nijel (who used to be a human). "That wall is as safe as houses. Come rain or snow, drought or wind, that wall will never fall. It’s stood for nigh on fifty years, it’s there forever. When we are dead and gone, Nijel, my wall will still be there."

Nijel would make whatever sound it is that Giraffes make, and settle into his kennel.

One stormy September eve Mr Tidy was pruning his beloved, attempting to ignore the screams of agony emanating from her. The wall was taking a heavy beating from the rain, but thanks to Mr Tidy’s obsessive maintenance regime it was plain to see that the wall was taking not a jot of punishment.

While bathing his Giraffe in the stand up shower, Mr Messy espied the effect the heavy rain was having on his wall. The impact of the water was throwing off pieces of brick, the wall was crumbling badly.

"Oh dear," said Mr Messy, "Mayhaps I should take a look outside."

Mr Messy arrived in his backyard just in time to witness his wall collapse.

Mr Tidy was stood in his yard, noticing the maintenance free side of the wall.

"You Bastard!" said he.

THE END